Go Eat Kreplach

Dear reader, it’s not her goodness, her piety, her benevolence that I want to tell you about. Her name was Deborah, and in Bodovitz you only needed to say, “According to Deborah,” and everybody knew which Deborah you meant—that’s how well-known Deborah, of blessed memory, was throughout the little town of Bodovitz! It’s not her goodness, her piety, her benevolence that I want to talk about, because she never wanted to hear people praise her when she was alive, so she certainly wouldn’t want it now that she’s dead. Consequently, I’m just going to tell you about the virtue she herself always boasted about, and it’s that she never cursed in her whole life, never used a swear word.

“A curse,” she used to say, “is worse than anything in the world.”

Somebody asked her once, “Deborah, long life to you, we find curses in the Holy Torah itself, a whole section on curses, in fact, two, one longer than the other, so there probably must be something to it. It’s natural and human to curse one who deserves it!”

“Ah, my children,” she used to answer. “The Torah may curse those who deserve to be punished; such a curse has power! But we sinners, what’s the point of our swearing? Don’t we know that God isn’t waiting for us to tell Him what and who to punish? Feh, curses are not suitable for people!”

But Deborah did use one curse when she was greatly agitated or angry (if that were even possible). The curse was, “So go eat kreplach!”

Deborah really...